Rubio Rule: THE LEARNING HUMILITY RULE. At some point in your life you need to get effed up. If you are a good, respectable person, it most likely happened when you were three-years old. You disrespected your parents and they proceeded to kick the crap out of you. Sure, it physically hurt you, but more importantly, it humbled you. It taught you respect, accountability for your actions and discipline. See, I work at a high school and you can tell really quickly who got lit up when they were in diapers and who didn't. I feel sorry for the kids that didn't, because ultimately those 3 things you learned when your mom smacked you on your cheek or butt made you a better person. That's right all you "timeout" parents! Bump that, my child will get the cinto, maybe even a paddling. [I'm sure somewhere out there, some kid didn't get smacked and turned out ok. I am not taking any chances with mine.]
Rubio Rule: THE RESPECT YOUR ELDERS RULE. No matter how old you get, the person older than you will always be at a different level than you. For example, you may be a grown ass man, but if your mom gets mad at you, you better damn well listen. I still fear my mother's hand coming across my face. You may have grown up with your uncle who was only 5 years older than you, but at the end of the day he's still older than you, and will always be older than you. You may be making 10 times more than the 55-year old neighbor across the street, but that does not make up for her age and experience. I know that no teenager wants to hear, ‘Respect Your Elders,’ but you know what, it's true. We've lost that in this country, which ends up hurting everyone, including authority figures (teachers, police officers, security guards, etc.) [Rule does not apply if your elder is a complete dumbass.]
Rubio Rule: THE FRIEND ZONE RULE. Always avoid falling into the dreaded "friend zone" with a lot of people in the opposite sex. Let me restate this: avoid the "friend zone" at all costs. The "friend zone" is the equivalent of telling all your opposite-sex friends, "I don't ever want to hook up with any of you. In fact, I don't even like sex and would never consider sleeping with you." [This is quite possibly the most difficult Rubio Rule to explain and I will soon in greater detail in a future blog post. So don’t formulate too many opinions until you read it.]
Rubio Rule: THE BE CAREFUL WHO YOU MIX RULE. When setting up a dinner party, get-together, night out (basically any social event in which 10-13 people are invited, or less) always be sure to note the relationships between the people you invite. For example, if you want a fun night with all of your friends please make sure they get along well first. You don’t want to invite 5 of your buddies over for poker if one of them stole the other’s woman. Just because they are your best buds, doesn’t mean that they are each others’. If you want a good time with as little drama as possible heed this rule. Would you invite your ex-girlfriend to dinner with your girlfriend? Didn’t think so. [Also, if you are invited somewhere don’t invite someone else who is going to make the outing awkward. And don’t invite more than one person, remember it’s not your party. Oh and don’t invite someone if you got invited to a place and don’t know anyone.]
Rubio Rule: THE OPEN BEER RULE. Your eyes are bigger than your mouth, yes that can be said for all of us. But if you go to a party and you are getting free alcohol, please, please finish the beer you opened. If you poured yourself some rum and coke don’t leave it sitting there after two sips. There are thirsty 17 year-olds in Ohio who can’t drink what you are drinking! I hate it when I’m at a party and I want a beer…so I go to the fridge, look for more and all the brews are gone. I walk around and see 5 cans more than halfway full…come on now. Also, some people empty their drink because it ‘got hot.’ It only got hot cause your ass was babysitting that drink for too damn long. Suck it up and drink the rest of it. [Sometimes the rum you poured is really, really wack and you had no idea. I guess you can probably not drink it. Also, when you are drunk things like this don’t always necessarily make sense. Oh and this rule does not apply to Keystone, Natty Light or any Malt Liquor.]
Rubio Rule: THE HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP RULE. Women are independent. Men are not overbearing machos. Times have changed. But this hasn’t: No matter what, a man wants to be able to protect his woman AND no matter what, a woman wants her man to protect her. If this is not the case their relationship will not function properly. So yes, men want their women to be independent, confident, but at the end of the day, they never want them to be stronger than them (physically or emotionally, whatever being emotionally strong means). Women want a caring man who will cook, clean and wash the dishes, but if he ever cries in front of her, it’s over. Ultimately we all want our partner to fall into their predetermined gender role. Men want to control and women want to be controlled (to a degree of course). [There is no exception to the rule here. A relationship cannot function properly if the roles are reversed. Oh and a man can cry in front of his girl for certain things, but not many.]
Rubio Rule: THE IT’S NOT THAT BAD RULE. Someone always has it worse than you do. And if you live in the U.S. it’s a lot of someones (not trying to sound elitist but in some countries, if you are born poor you are staying that way). I’m not saying you can’t complain, but it could always be worse. [It’s that simple.]
Rubio Rule: THE MAJORITY RULES, RULE. So you are out with 5 of your friends. Everyone wants to go eat some chicken wings. You, on the other hand, really want Greek food. State your request and wait until it gets shot down. Once it gets shot down, suck it up and enjoy your wings. Don’t start crying because you really wanted Greek food and don’t make everyone else feel bad. When you are with a group of people, not everyone is going to get what they want. Sacrifice is key to good group dynamics. Also, if you always get outvoted by your friends, I have a suggestion: get new friends. The rule essentially applies to all group settings and situations. Sacrifice is also important for other things in life. If you don’t learn how to sacrifice, you will be a bad parent and probably a worse life partner. [If you are a super alpha-person your one vote can sometimes outweigh everyone else’s. But not always, and not everyone has this power. Or if you really want to do something and not everyone does, offer to pay for everyone. Problem solved.]
Rubio Rule: THE DON’T TAKE FROM THE JAR IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO PUT IT BACK RULE. This can best be explained using two anecdotes: (1) The take-a-penny-leave-a-penny tray. It is perfectly fine to take one when you need it. But don’t always take and not give back to the tray! (2) Perhaps a more fitting example would be those people that claim their ethnicity only when it benefits them. For example, the Hispanic Scholarship Fund requires that its recipients need only be ¼ “Hispanic” or something of the sort. I served on the HSF Scholar Chapter Board my first two years at Texas. I was invited to a luncheon and what did I see but students that I had never before seen in my life! Students that were recipients of a scholarship that, as far as I knew (and you know, maybe they did do something but I didn’t know, but likely not), did nothing for their community! Look, if you don’t want to do anything for your community that’s fine. If you are ¼ Latino and don’t really identify with the community that’s cool too. But don’t benefit off of a Latino scholarship if you are not going to give back. I firmly believe that nothing in life is free. Everything has a cost, give back what you get. [Just like when you get “free” drinks. Tip your bartenders!]
Rubio Rule: THE DON’T BE A JACKASS FAN RULE. Everyone knows a jackass like this: you go to your boy’s house to watch your favorite team play. It’s a big game so your boy invited some people. Everyone there is pulling for the same team, except the jackass guy. How can you tell this person is a jackass? Usually, he’s a loud obnoxious male who really knows nothing about sports or the teams playing. This guy is here cause his girl didn’t wanna come alone, or he’s just a friend of a friend. This guy spends the entire game talking about how much your team sucks, how your team loses and rubs everything in your face. He drinks all your beer, eats all your food and still proceeds to make fun of your team. Since his sports knowledge is very limited and he can’t really join the conversation naturally, he has to insert himself in the conversation with lame jokes about a player’s last name or a commercial that just passed. Please don’t be this person. And if you know someone like this, please don’t invite them over. When I watch my team play I want to be surrounded with knowledgeable sports fans. I don’t want some jackass talking loud, not letting me hear what Troy Aikman has to say. [No exception to the rule here. Just don’t mess with me and my sports.]
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