I never meant to consciously group Mexican restaurants into a three-level system. It kind of just started as a kid when we'd go eat breakfast after church. My sister and I always wanted to go to IHOP or Denny's, and of course our parents always wanted to go to a run-down Mexican spot. It wasn’t just that it cost a lot less, my parents just wanted some good, authentic breakfast. It would be a while until Natalie and I understood my parents' rationale, because, you know, with age comes wisdom and with more age comes more wisdom. To combat our dislike of the Mexican restaurants we'd be eating at (it wasn't really dislike it was more the fact that we didn't get to go where we wanted) we came up with a list of similarities that we noticed in the different restaurants we'd be so fortunate to visit. We called it the "How you know you are in a ghetto Mexican restaurant list."
(I no longer use the word ghetto as I believe it to be a very elitist, classist and oftentimes racist. For the purposes of this journal post I will continue to use it)
Well, how did you know that you were in a ghetto Mexican restaurant? Just some examples:
*They always had their "first dollar" posted on the wall somewhere.
*The menus looked like someone's 6th grade computer skills project. They were often all folded up, the laminating wasn't always 100%, TONS of spelling/grammatical errors.
*They had a gumball machine or one of those machines that you put in 50 cents (prolly like a dollar now) and got one badass Britney Spears sticker or another one with the little 'Homies' figureines (sp...too lazy to check).
*They NEVER had fountain drinks. So if you wanted a coke, that meant your ass was getting a 12oz can of coke and cup full of ice with a straw. And you better not drink the entire thing before your meal cause there were no "free refills" and you better believe your mom wasn’t going to let you get another one.
In celebration of Cinco de Mayo (a non-Mexican holiday if there ever was one), here are my observations of the different kinds of Mexican restaurants. Let's break down the characteristics of each, keeping in mind that the focus is essentially the most important factor in determining a restaurant's level ranking.
Level 1: Para Mi Gente
Description: That grimy ass spot that keeps it real all day, every day (and some are even open after the bars shut down). They either produce one of those Aztec calendars hanging in your abuela's kitchen or they have one hanging somewhere near the cashier (almost always from a panaderia).
Examples: Almost all Mexican spots in South Texas, Taqueria Vallarta in Austin, most places on Buford Highway in Atlanta.
Focus: These places don't give a damn what you think about their ambiance, service or cleanliness. They are on this Earth to do two things: make money and make Mexican@s happy. They want you to remember your mami when you take your first bite of their enchiladas.
Menu Appearance: Like I said before, it looks like a middle school kid made it and forgot to spell check. The text is always in Spanish, and nowadays, most spots translate, or attempt to translate for the non-Spanish speaking clientele (which are not many, but still).
On the Menu: Here you get those menu items that the general U.S. public does not attempt to eat or knows little about: mole, tripitas, and menudo (on the weekends, with tortillas de maiz son!). You also get your standard dishes: enchiladas, tacos, arroz, frijoles. Be warned, though, if the food is meant to be spicy, it will be very spicy.
Employees: Usually family-owned and operated. The owner doubles as the manager, the siblings/children wait tables and take cashier duties and the cooks are Mexican. Servers also clean the tables. The entire staff is Mexican and there is no standard "uniform."
Clientele: Mexican, usually the people that work/live in the general area. Lots of Central Americans too.
Music: Tejano, Norteño, Corridos, Duranguense, basically everything my mother hates.
Alcohol: If available it is usually just Mexican beer. You won't find liquor at most of these spots. Remember it's all about the food.
Appearance: Most of the stuff looks like it was bought on one of those magazines that sell restaurant products in bulk.
Lo mejor de este Nivel: This is of course my favorite Level 1 restaurant and I am sad to say that I will never eat there again. Taqueria Vallarta (R.I.P.) was probably the best homemade, greasy Mexican food I have ever had. I always ordered the combination plate: cheese enchiladas, carne guisada, rice and beans. Vallarta, como te extraño.
Level 2: We want to assimilate, but we can't forget out roots.
Description: This place wants to create more of a dining experience. They want you to have fun and eat good food. If this restaurant was a child, it would have been born in the U.S. but its parents would have been born in Mexico.
Examples: El Azteca in Atlanta, Ninfa’s in Texas, Baby A’s in Austin, La Mexicana in the Valley (this is kinda borderline but its more 2 than 1). Oh and the restaurant that the Quintanilla family opens up in Selena (“Gringos love Mexican food”).
Focus: These restaurants want the best of both worlds. They want the Mexican diner to feel what they feel at Level 1 spots, but they also want to make the non-Mexican customer to feel comfortable enough to enjoy their meal. But alas, just like Abraham says in Selena, “We are too American for the Mexicans, and too Mexican for the Americans.”
Menu Appearance: Nice menus, and while the menu items are in Spanish the description of the meal is always in English.
On the Menu: Nachos and queso dip (I hate it when I hear ‘KAY-so’ but then again I am sure I mispronounce something every time I go to a Chinese spot) are staples of this place. Then you have stuff like chimichangas (not Mexican), quesadillas, maybe even some stuffed jalapenos.
Employees: Level 2 spots are equal opportunity employers. I would say you have about a 50% chance of getting a Mexican server and abut a 50% chance that the servers speak some Spanish. Cooks are most likely Mexican, bussers are not servers here (and always Mexican, unfortunately) and the owner may or may not be there on a full-time basis. There is also a bartender (more on this later).
Clientele: You have a very diverse clientele. Again, this place attempts to make anyone feel comfortable (key word) enough to dine in their restaurant. Without making this sound weird, a Mexican can bring their gringo friends here!
Music: The thing I like about Level 2 spots is that they still try to keep it real with the music. But you are more likely to hear mainstream Mexican music like mariachi or Pop. Some spots might even have mariachis there on Friday nights.
Alcohol: You will start to notice a trend as we continue down the tier system. Alcohol plays a much bigger role at this restaurant. Not only do you have beer on tap, you have a full bar and every level 2 spot tries to have a signature drink, like the ‘Purple’ at Baby A’s. Oftentimes they call their signature drink “World Famous” as if dudes in Istanbul knew about it. This place also makes a killing during Cinco de Mayo season.
Appearance: For the most part it’s decent. You will usually see alcohol advertisements ALL over the place (Mexican beers). Neon signs, inflatable beer bottles, banners for beers, and a lot of festive colors.
Lo Mejor de Nivel 2: It’s hard to put this one in the 2 spot because the food is so good. You could close your eyes and think you are a at a 1 spot. All the employees speak Spanish as well. But La Parilla in Atlanta (Howell Mill and I-75) has a huge bar and a festive atmosphere. And in case you had any doubt that it wasn’t a Level 2 spot here is the clincher: the servers do not bus the tables. Therefore, it must sit in the Level 2 zone. But, like I said, the food is really good and they have a lot of selection on the menu.
Level 3: We like Mexican food and culture, Mexicans….not so much. [DISCLAIMER] I am not hating on this kind of restaurant and I have no agenda here. I am just saying.
Description: This is that really pricy “Mexican” restaurant. In fact, most of them cannot even be characterized as such. They usually take elements of Mexican food and culture and put their own unique spin on it. This is like an upscale spot and they sometimes have a name in Spanish but it doesn’t mean anything really, it just sounds cool to the owner.
Examples: Papasito’s, On the Border, Uncle Julio’s in Atlanta, basically any huge chain that mainly serves Mexican food.
Focus: Definitely not for the blue-collar worker. Want to make your clients feel like they went to Guadalajara Mr. Smith? Take them to a Level 3 spot for some Margaritas and Chips.
Menu: Your standard restaurant menu, but sometimes a little too fancy. Oh and they have a separate drink menu.
On the Menu: You gotta think about Mexican dishes with their own unique twist. Like pulled pork tacos or their own strange version of fajitas. They try making authentic dishes but fall way short. I think it is safe to say that sometimes you will get authentic food at a Level 2 restaurant, but you will never get authentic taste at a Level 3 spot.
Employees: The only Mexicans that work there are either bus tables or cook the food. Owner is definitely not Mexican (and if they are let me know, they need to give up their ethnic card) and servers are not necessarily Mexican.
Appearance: The difference between this place and a Level 2 restaurant is that the overall appearance is better. Definitely the nicest of the three and they normally don’t have neon signs and banners hanging all over the place.
Music: This is the thing that really bothers me about these types of restaurants: they almost never play Mexican music. Why am I hearing salsa in a Mexican restaurant?
Alcohol: Alcohol is even more important to this type of restaurant than Level 2. I am willing to bet half their revenue comes from alcohol sales alone. They depend on the happy hour sales, and Cinco de Mayo is like their black Friday. Be careful, that Margarita you’re drinking costs $10.
Lo Mejor de Nivel 3: Ummmm??? No really they all suck. But if I had to go somewhere it’d be Don Pablo’s in Atlanta when Roy’s working (haha) or Uncle Julio’s. But really you are just going for the drinks.
So there you have it. The next time you step into a Mexican restaurant see if you can identify where it belongs. And if you are asking if this same line of thinking can be transferred to other kinds of restaurants, sure it can (P.F. Chang’s…Level 3 Chinese restaurant). Just remember the food always tastes better at Level 1, and the bill is always higher at Level 3 spots!
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