My love/hate relationship with the NFL (post #2)

Yes, I know, I know. I know it's not football season, I know that college basketball is in full swing, NBA playoff races are starting to heat up and Tiger Woods is back to save golf (great new Nike commercial by the way). Of course it's not football season, but you turn on the television and all they talk about is football, football, football so you can be fooled into thinking that the season is right around the corner.

As much as I love individuality I will be the first to admit that I fall into the stereotype of a football fan. I like watching the games with the boys, or the bar down the street. Downing some brewskis, and eating junk is a must during a game. I like talking about Sunday games on Monday morning and talking on Friday about the upcoming games the next Sunday. It's a "vicious" cycle that soooo many people are guilty of perpetuating. Yes I know that I should spend more of my energy on more imporant matters, but that's a conversation for another day. I have some kind of dependence on the NFL. If it goes down, a small part of me, heck a small part of a lot of us, goes down. A lot of people cannot do without the NFL.

Example: A couple months ago we were at my Tia's house celebrating my cousin's 15th birthday. All was fine until someone pointed out that my Tio Manuel didn't have NFL freaking network. The Cowboys were playing the Ravens. This was a big game. Heck, anytime they 'Boys play it's a big game in Texas. Panic ensued. My heart sank a little (and that's cause they are not even my team). We were screwed, we were stuck!

I did forget one thing though: the men in my family are resilient (well, when it comes to sporting events that is). We once jumped through 50 million hoops and loops to just watch Manny Pacquiao beat David Diaz to the ground. My Tio Melchor has NFL network. The game was at 8pm (I think) so we still had 2 hours to chill at the party then watch the game. Within minutes it was decided that we were all going to leave the house we were at and drive 1.2 miles to his house (there are 6 families in my family that live about 4 minutes from each other, less I think) and watch the game. We got to his house and no one was mad. The hosts of the party weren't even mad! It was understood that the game was of utmost importance and we had to watch it.  We moved the party just to watch the game.

This illustrates my point exactly. We need the NFL, and the NFL knows this AND exploits this. This is why I love and hate the NFL. They are like drug pushers. They know we need it and will do what we have to do to get our medicine.

I guess this post isn't really about how much I love the NFL, it's really more about what I hate about it.  Specifically, though, these are the things that I do not like about the NFL.

The NFL Draft

I put this up first because I think I am still undecided about whether or not this is the NFL's fault.  The draft is the most overhyped event in all of sports.  Is it the NFL's fault that ESPN spends at least 7 minutes of every Sportscenter (remember this is at least 7 minutes) talking about who moved up, who moved down, who can run a 4.3 40 yard dash?  I mean in addition to Mel Kiper Jr. we now have Todd McShay.  Do we really need two people to analyze the draft?  In addition to these two guys, they start analyzing the draft in early January.  Keep in mind that the draft doesn't happen until APRIL 26-27!  I am already fed up with the draft coverage and there are still two months to go!  The sports media spends four months talking about players who have yet to play an NFL snap and are really just competing with each other to get picked higher.  There's a weekend-long combine where players are poked and prodded like cattle, and their workouts are used to determine whether or not they are going to be a star in the league.  Give me a break.

I guess after thinking about it some more it is the NFL's fault that the draft is overhyped and here's why:  your draft status affects your wallet, and we are talking about millions of dollars.  There is such a huge difference in salary between the #1 pick and the #30 pick.  Heck, there is a huge difference between the #3 and the #10 picks.  So of course they are going to monitor all the activity of players in those four months because there is a ton of money involved.  Please tell me why rookies need to make so much money.  I mean I can understand why they hold out.  It's all about getting what you can get while you can get it.  But the NFL has created a system that allows rookies to essentially hold their teams hostage (remember the Eli Manning saga?).

So finally you watch enough of the pre-draft coverage to practically make you a certified Mel Kiper Jr. Jr.  The day of the draft comes...and it sucks.  It's hour after hour of players getting picked, players getting traded, players getting interviewed, etc.  I know the draft is necessary, but can we please not act as if it is of equal importance to a game?  Do we really need to see the 7th or 8th rounds?  I get tired of watching after only 5 picks (that's like 1.25 hours right there).  I'm so over the draft.  I just wish the sports media was too.

Watching a game

All U.S. sports are guilty of stretching their sports telecasts as long as they possibly can, but they NFL takes it to another level.  Can they please take a cue from soccer?  A futbol match is comprised of two 45 minute halves.  Throw in a 15-20 minute intermission between halves and you are sitting by the television about two hours.  That's it.  Two hours, get on with your life, go do something productive.

An NFL game typically goes something like this: kickoff, first series, commercial break.  Punt, commercial break, series, punt, commercial break.  Series, score + extra point, commercial break. Kickoff, commercial break.  Timeout, commercial break.  You get the idea, commercial break.  No really watch this.  

Ok welcome back.  

I remember a few years ago the early games started at 1:00 pm Eastern and the late games started at 4:00 pm Eastern.  Now the late games have been pushed back 15 minutes!  Did the game change that much in the last decade that the NFL needed to compensate by starting a game 15 minutes later?  So you're probably saying that it's ok because it's only an extra 15 minutes.  Wrong!  It's an extra 30 minutes and there have been plenty of instances where a regulation game has lasted 3.5 hours.

And I don't even wanna touch the NFL network and their monopoly on games.  

I do want to touch the postseason though.  The league does another fabulous job of stretching out its games and putting them at odd hours of the day.  Take championship Sunday.  The NFC 'ship started at 3 something eastern.  The AFC 'ship ended after 10pm eastern.  The Super Bowl definitely ended after 10 eastern.  And who doesn't watch the SB at someone's house?  Imagine how crappy it is to be at someone's crib, you've just stuffed yourself with beer, pizza and wings and now you have to go to work in about 8 hours.  Can the game start at 4pm?  I mean, I'd like to be able to enjoy the game and still function at work the next day.

Player conduct

This one is not so much just an NFL issue, it’s really an issue with all professional athletes, but sometimes I feel like the NFL players conduct themselves in the worse manner. No, I’m not going to talk about Terrell ‘Locker Room Cancer' Owens. As much as I think he is a selfish baby (seriously 2 year-olds throw less tantrums then he does) he hasn’t really ever gotten in trouble with the law.

I’m thinking more along the lines of dudes like Plaxico Burress. It’s one thing to take a weapon into a club, but you shot yourself in the leg? If that’s not the stupidest thing that has ever happened to a football player please let me know what is. Your team is trying to win another Super Bowl! Hello?!?! That bullet wound cost the Giants a shot (pun intended) at another ring. I am tired of this, “Well I don’t feel safe when I go out so I need to carry a weapon.” Hey jackass I have a solution: don’t go out. It’s that simple. You see, NFL players don’t get it. You cannot have the best of both worlds. You can’t make a million plus a year and still expect to blend in with the crowd. Listen carefully athletes: PEOPLE WHO HAVE EVERYTHING TO LOSE SHOULD NOT ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. You don’t see Donald Trump chillin’ with broke ass dudes. You don’t see Bill Gates at the club! Granted they are older and stuff so they wouldn’t be at the club anyway but you catch my drift. Please continue to “keep it real” because apparently “keeping it real” is what is going to make your ass broke and locked up.

I’m also thinking about a dude like Marvin Harrison. Sure everyone thinks he’s such a nice guy because he goes out there, catches 100 passes a year (or used to anyway), but how do you know he’s really a good guy? Exactly, you don’t. In case you didn’t know, this guy is accused of assaulting a fan who asked for his autograph, grabbing a 23-year-old Jets ball boy by the neck and lifting him off the ground, and chasing a man down the street with a gun in his hometown of Philadelphia. Charges? Maybe in the latter case but the first two incidents never resulted in anything. Good job Marvin, yet another athlete protected by the law.

And then we come to my favorite of them all: Adam “Don’t call me Pacman anymore” Jones. I think this clip does him more justice than I could in words.

Let’s dissect. First minute he already messes up. James Brown asks him a question and he replies, “No they are not true at all man.” What? You’re talking to James Brown, show some respect! You can’t even act like a professional football player. On top of that, he has to have his lawyer butt in and save him every time he’s about to spill something. What kind of grown man needs another man by his side to keep him from messing up a simple interview? Adam if you can’t handle JB by yourself then maybe you never should have done the interview in the first place.

Oh here’s a gem (somewhere around 2:01), “Strip clubs are like regular clubs.” Can someone please tell me how they are the same? Then like 10 seconds later he says, “I like the strip clubs.” HAHA. Even if I liked ‘the strip clubs’ I wouldn’t even admit it to my mom, much less a nationally televised audience. And at the end he confidently states that Jerry Jones is going to give him another shot. Which makes sense! That’s why he cut you! So he can give you another shot!

Player Contracts

By now I am sure you have heard of Albert Haynesworth’s monster contract. Seven years, $100,000,000 from the Redskins. I purposely put all those zeros in there. That’s 1/10 of a billion dollars. Whatever. He’s never going to see anywhere near that amount of money. Mark my words in 3 or 4 years he is going to be cut. Actually that’s not a big prediction because it happens to every single NFL player. I’m kind of mad that this dude is getting that much. I mean, even though he is not going to see all that money he’s still going to get a good amount of guaranteed money (something lik $40 million plus). Just stop and think real quick: was this the same Albert Haynesworth that pulled a guy’s helmet off and stomped on his head. Dude was suspended five games and lost about $150,000. Was this the same guy that all of a sudden got really good toward the end of his current deal? He knew it was time to get paid, so then he decided to play. Here’s another prediction: he is going to shut it down this year. He is going to get his money and he’s going to be a shell of his former self.

If you don’t believe how ridiculous these contracts can get, all you have to do is look at the other big signing by Washington, Mr. DeAngelo Hall. Just one year ago Hall signed a seven-year 70 million dollar contract with the Oakland Raiders. About 8 games in, they decide they don’t want him anymore. So they release him, just like that. Sure he still made some money (about a million per game played) but it was just that easy to let him go. One year later he signs a 6-year 55 million dollar contract. What’s the point of even having contracts if they teams are not going to honor them?

See I don’t really blame the players when they jump ship to get more dollars. At the end of the day all players are one injury away from retirement. They are treated like pieces of meat. The average NFL career lasts 4 seasons, so of course they are going to get theirs.  How often do you see an NBA player get released from his contract? Exactly, they don’t. Stephon Marbury was sitting on his ass making 20-something million dollars. The Knicks had to honor his contract because…it’s a contract! It’s a binding agreement that says we will pay you X amount of dollars for X amount of years, for better or worse.

I figure there are a ton of other reasons to hate the NFL. But at the end of the day I know I can’t do without it. I just wish that they would do a better job of pleasing their fans and their players. I mean, the fans are your clients and your players bring the clientele to the stadiums every week. I guess the NFL is really just an extension of everything we hate about capitalism. If it doesn’t make dollars, it doesn’t make sense.